FDA Unapproved

Pattaya, Thailand

There is nothing that you can safely eat here. Nothing. Oh, so that’s chicken, you say? Doubtful. I’ve seen a lot of stray dogs lying around the streets but Thailand is suspiciously lacking a population of stray cats . . .

Since things couldn’t get worse and I really have no accurate knowledge of what it is that I’m consuming when I'm eating here anyway, I took the plunge. The Fear Factor plunge. I consciously, knowingly, and willingly ate a bug. A little frog, too. My bro downed a grasshopper. I think my bug was some sort of a grub. It looked like I stole it right out from Pumba's hoof in The Lion King. It exploded in my mouth and I couldn’t help but to have scenes from the movie flash through my head as I bore down with each chewy bite. “Hakuna Matata!” and, “chewy, yet satisfying . . .” I did not agree. They were well roasted and seasoned, which was my saving grace. Here is what the cart had to offer:

Scorpion, frog, big cockroach, smaller roach, cricket, grasshopper, grub, and other stuff that I run from when they are alive.

Locals actually buy these things by the bagful and eat them by the handful like peanuts!

I think I earned my Open-Minded Traveler card, today. If not, 'F' it.