Open Water, Clear Sand, and Genitals?

I happened upon a nude beach today. I didn’t even know it existed until I existed on it. It's strange how I was the one feeling awkward being there when I was the person actually wearing clothes! It's also a much less entertaining scene than you'd think; given the overwhelming population of nude beach-goers over the age of 55. It wasn’t very populated, but the beach itself was great! Just beach. No buildings. No disturbances. The sand was super soft and the beach was wide and long. There were so many crabs (pun!). They were smaller and mostly just scrambled away as I approached. But they dig out holes in the sand and leave behind hundreds of perfectly scooped little balls of sand. Hadn’t seen that before. Wish I'd taken a pic.

I'm a Certified LifeSaver

I got a second job as a lifeguard at a waterpark that pays $22.00 per hour and always has free admission. Who can say no to that? I figure that I can pick up shifts here when I am off at the school. 

In order to qualify for the job, I had to take two lifeguarding courses that took place over two weekends. Some of the training involved timed swimming tests...let me tell you something about swimming laps when you haven’t done anything athletic in about 2 years and are not even 4 months off of knee surgery: it wears you out! My first test was freestyle, 200 meters in 6 minutes. My time? 6:00.10. Count it! No way was I doing that again over a dang millisecond. I was the last to finish, but I finished. And even though I almost wanted to, I didn’t vomit all over the grass when I was done, like some other people. 

The tests requiring you to swim out and haul people in were easy for me. I came in way under time. But the last test was survival strokes and that was the one that really got me. 400 meters in 13 minutes, broken down as follows: 100 meters freestyle, 100 meters backstroke, 100 meters sidestroke, 100 meters breaststroke. And your head cannot go beneath water on strokes. I thought 13 minutes was a long time, until I finished my first try in 14:06! It turned out that other people weren’t doing the proper strokes and they were getting better times. I didn’t want to cheat myself, so I gave it another go staying true to the strokes…13:25! Damnit! Better but not enough. I was sucking some serious wind. It was the first time that I’ve ever been in a pool and have been aware of the fact that I was sweating! My freestyle was killing me. I got a few tips from the instructor on how to get more out of my techniques and on my third try, I passed! 12:41. Huge improvement. Yay, me! Now I’m all certified and official, just like my Mommy was back in the day! I start work at the waterpark tomorrow. If I only knew then, what I know now…I might’ve been the one to save that man’s life at Litchfield!

Public Transit and CPS

So, I rode the public bus for the first time in Australia. As I sat at the bus stop waiting, a woman pulled up in a dingy minivan and came to a screeching halt in the bus lane. Her passenger door flies open, liquid drips out of the open door, and...SMACK! She slapped the crap out of the back of this little girl's head (she couldn’t have been older than four and was sitting in the front passenger seat)! Apparently the child had spilled a cup of liquid on the floor of the van. The woman then proceeds to shout, “you stupid f*cking b*tch! I knew you were gonna do that! Get the f*ck out of here!” (Shoves girl in the back as she is climbing between seats to the rear of the van.) “You stupid little c*nt! Look at this sh*t! You’re such a B*TCH, you know that?” A passenger who was waiting at the bus stop with me jumps in, closes the door, and the driver looks forward and says more to herself than anybody, “little f*cking b*tch!” and puts the pedal to the floor.

Did I really just see that? The girl looked unfazed by the whole thing (no tears, no reaction at all, really). I'm sad for the world right now but mostly for that little girl :(

Language Barriers and Other Observations

My time here never ceases to beg the question, "why?" when dealing with Australian lingo and customs. It's a daily struggle. Let me fill you in on a few 'like' terms and other goodies:

Australian / American

• Power point / Electrical outlet
• Chewie / Gum
• Petrol / Gasoline
• Sauce / Ketchup
• Plaster / Band Aid
• Kimbies or Knappies / Diapers
• Knickers / Underwear

• Every gas station is Pump first, Pay last.

• Most shower stalls don’t have doors or curtains.

• Bath tubs are scarce.

• Napkins are basically non-existent.

• Rarely will you find ice in drinks.

• They have no 1 cent piece but still charge prices that suggest otherwise. No pennies! $1.99 soda cost $2. Again, WHY?

• Their $1.00 and $2.00 currencies are gold coins. No bills until $5.00. Money is colorful and plasticy. You can literally wash these bills.

I'll add more to this, I'm sure. Too many anomalies to remember!

World-Class Hospitality

Have I mentioned how nice Australians are? I'd heard otherwise, so maybe this is restricted to the Northern Territory, but everyone here has been amazingly sweet.

The people I've met are always offering to take me places, to cover my meal expenses, and to be included in their social gatherings. They don't even know me and they are being accommodating! When I try to repay the favor, they are insistent that I don't–and I'm not talking about that whole back-and-forth thing that Americans do, you know the one:

Him: "Oh, no. Put your wallet away. I've got it."

Her: "Oh, you don't have to do that!"

Him: "I know, but I want to."

Her: "Are you sure? Cuz really, I can get it."

Him: "Absolutely. I've got this."

Her: "Okay, thanks..." (she says this with an unsure and appreciative tone but is actually thinking, "Oh, GOOD! I didn't mean I word I just said. I just wanted to seem thoughtful."


Australians genuinely just want to be good people. Nothing in return.

Litchfield

Litchfield National Park

I went to Litchfield National Park today! It is a big tourist (and local) attraction that has a bunch of different watering holes to hike around and swim in. We went to Bhuley Rock Hole and Florence Falls. I went cliff jumping from approximately 2.5 stories high. Not my biggest feat but considering how cautious I was because of my knee, it was a big enough thrill. In the end the worst I did was bruise my shin (a surprisingly deep and large bruise) on the surface of the water. My bro actually jumped off of a waterfall that was easily more than twice the height of my cliff! 

At one point, this guy swam out to near where I was wading and started drowning! I didn’t believe he was serious because I had just seen him swimming perfectly fine. Plus, he was making eye contact with me the whole time and he never made a sound. Was he just joking around? I wasn’t willing to risk my safety for his apparent entertainment. As it turned out, he really was drowning. I came to his aid at the same time as another bystander who hauled the guy to shallow water. The guy never spoke. For the rest of the time that he was there, he was by himself just sitting in knee-deep water and looking around. I later came to find out that he can’t speak English well, but that he can in fact speak. Weirdo.

Florence Falls. I jumped from cliff face on the left; bro, from top of right waterfall

We stopped by the “termite mound graveyard” outside of the park where, again, you should Google your references but there are hundreds of naturally occurring termite mounds. They get pretty tall. Check out the picture! I have no real idea of how long they take to build them but I know it must be time consuming. They are all different and don’t lose their shock value. 

It's like a baby Sycamore!

 Termite mound signage. Looks like we're talking about 50 years in the making...

Lakes Resort Camping Trip

So, one of the amazing things about my job is that I get to plan "excursions" (field trips) and one of the things that most of these girls love to do is camp! This trip was intimate and served as an award for the most deserving students (boys and girls). We only brought 11 girls. Lakes Resort was beautiful and secluded, out bush (which means it was literally out in the bush, or boonies as we'd say in America). I can't find the pictures that I took so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Crocodiles are again a supposed concern here (basically, everywhere there is fresh water) but the water is really nice and clean so I’m hoping they'll be visible if I need to worry. The lake is surrounded by thick borders of high grass and lily pads and these hedges look like prime real estate for a croc stakeout.  I’m aware of the apparent dangers (did I ever tell you my middle name?)…but that didn’t stop me from getting in the water! 

I got the girls out on the lake in canoes that we had to first hoist over our heads and march down a quarter mile of dirt road before dragging them through the sticky muddy bottom in a high, grassy area in order to get to the open water. It was terrifying and a serious adrenaline rush! Haha—I’m not completely reckless though; I made sure the girls went first! Obviously, we survived. And even though we kept our eyes peeled, there were no crocs in sight.

We camped on a large 2nd story deck that was located in the nook of the U-shaped lake. (You know, like where your butt would be if you laid in a hammock.) I had my own tent pitched up there, surrounded by trees and wildlife. I just laid there absorbing where I was and continued to try to grasp the fact that I am in Australia…Never saw this one coming! Loving life’s possibilities.