Weekend Trip

Went down to Melbourne this past weekend and got back last night. Although brief, the trip was just the right length of time. I walked around downtown, rode different types of transit, came up at the casino, shopped, and took in the sights. Saw some pretty cool architecture down there. The flight back laid over in Sydney and I got a birds-eye view of the bridge and opera house. I hope I'll make it back there to get up close and personal!

Galactic Encounter

Because I cannot possibly describe it, I don’t think I’ll even try. But just know, that while I was out camping in a remote village this last weekend, detached from any and all artificial light, I saw the Milky Way. It was surrounded by more intense stars than I’ve witnessed in all my life. I felt so monumentally insignificant–it just swallows you up. It’s beyond words. You’ll have to experience the view yourself it in order to understand what I fail to communicate. 

Strange Habits

Australians don’t use napkins. Ever. Like, never ever. They use their hands to wipe their faces and proceed to wipe their hands on their clothes. I've seen a bunch of times where there is no wiping at all, just food and juices dribbling down chins. On top of this, their personal space bubble is much smaller than what I'm used to in America. Oh, and apparently talking with your mouth full is of no consequence here, even within that intimate bubble. Spit in my food once, shame on me for letting you invade my bubble. Not gonna happen twice. Hence, the reason I like to eat alone.

They drink pretty much everything out of a mug (hot or cold) and they drink hot drinks all day long. Tea. Never sweet tea or iced tea—hot tea. They like to drink what they call Milo in the afternoons. This is basically hot chocolate, but it is less sweet and more chalky tasting. The kids go crazy for it. The temp is 85 degrees and they beg for Milo! Coffee isn’t such a big deal as tea, but it is all instant. Powder to mix in hot water. Ew.

Bread is a staple—though I’m not sure if this is mainly an Indigenous thing. They take two slices of white bread and butter them, then put any-damn-thing between the slices and it’s a go. Yesterday I was served a peanut butter and butter sandwich. There was more butter than peanut butter... I’m still not okay with having eaten that. Another time it was a chip (AKA fries) and butter sandwich—Not as bad as it sounds. Breakfast is pretty normal except that they don’t do oatmeal or cream of wheat or grits. They do porridge. It’s not bad. Reminds me of Goldilocks and the Three Bears every single time. But they will slap some baked beans or spaghetti on bread for breakfast in a heartbeat. Bizarre.

Nasty Cane Toads

So, there is some real life story behind these nasty things. Disclaimer: I’m purely going on hearsay (and most people around here lie, exaggerate the truth, and provide unverified information as fact) so Google it for authenticity. 

Cane toads are a species of toad that flood the ground at night and secrete poison from glands on their backs. My understanding is that they were genetically modified specifically to kill off certain snakes in the Southern part of Australia but that their population got out of control and they spread across the continent like wildfire. They now kill everything that attempts to eat them. No bueño. Needless to say, they are in Darwin. Heads up to any serious PETA sympathizers: Don’t read on. 

There are these things called Cane Toad Hunts that people actually get paid to host. Don’t waste your money. There are plenty of them all over the place–just pick your weapon and go to town! I was skeptical at first...then I saw how many of them there are everywhere, how disgusting they are, and how they have no respect for privacy (all up in the bathrooms). That was about the time that I grabbed the 2 x 4 and teed off. From the woooooood, to the wall! Splat. 

Cause of death: gravity

Lots of people will catch and freeze them in their personal freezers but that’s gross and no fun. Plus, they supposedly need to stay in the freezer at least 24 hours or they won’t actually die. If you run over one, it will expel its stomach lining out of its mouth in order to sustain the impact, then suck it back in and go on living. If you run over one and hear a 'pop', then its a goner. They are resilient little things. I’ll give ‘em that. My brother impaled one with a mango and I must say: it was masterful. He used to be a baseball pitcher and it showed.

Crazy Lady

Forward note: You have to believe me, because I cannot possibly make this stuff up.

To quickly set the background, let me just announce that (I somehow forgot to mention) I can now drive a stick/manual! And I can do it from the right side of the vehicle, while driving on the left side of the road, and shifting with my left hand (did you get alla that?). Oh yeah, and I can do it in a 40 ft bus. TOOT, TOOT! Yes, that was my own horn. I had to learn because that is basically the only type of transmission driven here and in order to transport students, I needed my Australian bus driver's license.

And this newly acquired skill is where my story begins. I work with someone who is known to be particularly unstable and entitled (with zero merit). Although no one cares much for her, I try to be cordial and inclusive to elicit a softer side from her. In the past, I've been successful but just recently, I threw in the towel.

She accused me of assault! If I weren't on foreign soil then I might've found this to be more amusing. To make a long story short, she asked if she could drive the bus and I told her that she couldn't because she is unlicensed (and insane–but I left that part out) and it was against policy. I offered to drive and she could observe. She literally ran outside, jumped in the driver's seat, buckled up, and refused to move (she knew that I needed to take the bus to pick up students at that time)! I asked her to get out. She argued for a while and then eventually got in the passenger seat.

On the drive, she started screaming at me and calling me a b*tch for not allowing her to practice driving. I suggested we refrain from speaking to each other on this drive due to the tension, and turned on the radio. At this point, she started to smash her fists all over the control panel and yell at me! I started to pull over simply because I didn't know if she was going to yank the wheel. Then she took out her phone and started dialing...her husband, the school principal, and the police! While she did this, she began to fake cry. Fake, as in, her voice went up 10 decibels and she began to audibly sob like a child throwing an attention-seeking tantrum. Her complaint was that I was "driving like a crazy person" and that I verbally assaulted her by singing along with the radio. (I kid you not. Verbatim: "She is singing so loud to the radio–she is trying to drive me crazy!" Really? I was 100% minding my own business and driving responsibly.)

In the end, she threatened that her husband was "going to deal with me". The police actually did show up but they never approached me. They should have fined her for wasting taxpayer's money. I never saw that husband of hers. Now might be a good idea for me to figure out where the American Embassy is located....?

It's Official: I'm A Workaholic

So, I got a third job today. It involves working with troubled teens on a one-on-one basis. You work 12-hour shifts in their personal environments because these kids sadly have no family to look after them and require round-the-clock supervision. I take on shifts as often as possible when I'm not scheduled at the school or the water park.

Just know that I'll be working this role for the extent of my stay in Darwin but that I'll be hesitant to share the experiences (because they're kids). I'll find a way to sum things up eventually. As for now, I'm just hoping to be able to make a positive impact in their lives.

And Another One Bites The Dust

I witnessed a snake swallow and regurgitate a cane toad today… Probably not the best decision that snake ever made. 

Pretty sure today was its last day. The way it jerked off after its change of heart looked a bit too spastic for recovery.